My boyfriend & I usually have sex on the floor behind his bed so when you walk in you can only see the bed. And we were having sex one day & I was on top and his mom walks in and she can't see him but she can see me with my shirt on, and she's asking me where he is and I'm sitting on his dick & he's on the bottom trying not to laugh and moving around to make me make faces. And we were talking for like 15 minutes while I was sitting on his dick and having pleasant talk with his mom. NEVER AGAIN.

—asked by: Anonymous

necromorph-slayinglovemachine:

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commanderrdata:

forcing people to watch star trek with you like

image

(via twatsorcery)

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triatic:

"swearing is so unattractive."

"fuck you I ain’t attractive anyways."

(via ruinedchildhood)

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(Source: gifdrome, via ruinedchildhood)

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nihilnovisubsole:

the trouble with me is you

(via twatsorcery)

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chrisjericho:

tupacabra:

imagine dragons. just imagine: DRAGONS. imagine them.

image

(via twatsorcery)

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comedycentral:

Click here to watch Stephen Colbert strap on some desk nuts and join the coal rollin’ movement.

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